How To Survive a PNP Checkpoint

If you happen to live within Metro Dumaguete, you’d notice how often checkpoints occur at any given time. Normally, if you are the law-abiding type of person and you have your driving license, vehicle registration and side mirrors all in tact, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you’re someone like Sinta who’s got all the excuses in the world not to renew his license for over a year now, then that’s where your problem starts. So how do you get away with it? Most often, you just try to avoid the highways and make friends with all the alternate routes. They eat up your fuel alright, but you certainly have no choice.

But what if you fell into the trap a little too late for you to notice?

Last night after our “tocino high” with some of our old friends (who got reunited…it’s complicated), I had a very heated argument with Sinta on our way home. In the middle of all the rebuttals and rants to make an interruption, we came across a PNP checkpoint – something Sinta has been avoiding for the last year or two. Imagine the horror on my face when I realized that it was too late for us to turn around and escape! Those policemen were just only five meters away from us and Sinta was roughly 3 seconds away from being held hostage! Oh noooo! We’re doomed for life I wanna die that minute!!! Okay, that was an exaggeration.

So what’s a guy like Sinta did? Well, you know what they say. Guys got to do what they’ve got to do! ACT EVERYTHING OUT. To sum it all up in three letters, LIE. LOL. Okay, so this is going to be longer than I imagined, but probably doing this list would be best for my readers who share the same problem. This might not be perfect, but damn it they’re good and slightly effective!

1. First thing you do when you see them signal through their hands to stop is slow down of course. Obedience is the key here friends. The more obedient you are, the more you can get away with it.
2. By the time you stop on the side of the road, let out a friendly greeting. A "Good evening, Chief!" always works best. Even if they aren't the real "Chief". And take note, do it with a pleasant smile. You see, these policemen always love a good compliment (Well, everybody does actually).  Also, this gesture will make these guys take a second look at you and will try to remember if they know you or have met you or something. Consequently, this will automatically tone down the "authority level" in them, which is a good thing.
3. These guys would always look for something you do not have. If you have the vehicle registration, they'll ask for your driving license. If you have both, they'll notice the lack of side mirrors in your motorcycle. If you have the side mirrors, the lack of lights are noticed instead. So you need to be a really fast-thinker here folks. You need to be fast enough to make stupid but effective excuses in everything that you lack. In Sinta's case, he didn't have the license, registration and side mirrors which is practically every possible reason to be ticketed and worse, humiliated.
• It is best to use "power words" when making a statement. For this matter, power words are something like the name of the LTO chairman, specific technical terms like "double-entry", and exact dates. Above all, try to use all of them in one sentence. Now that's something they can't get away with. This strategy makes your story very believable and will send a message that you know what you're talking about.
• These policemen will ask other facts about you so you need to convince not only one but all of them talking to you. Eye-contact is very important. This brings your sense of sincerity to the very next level people. Practice eye-contact.
4. Sometimes, you do not drive alone and when you have someone else travelling with you, make sure the other person also knows how everything works. Offensive and arrogant vibes are strictly prohibited. Just imagine how awful it would be if the driver almost got away with it, but because the passenger looked so impatient and unpleasant, they get ticketed eventually. So unfortunate, right? I did my part last night and that was to keep silent the whole time. So TEAMWORK guys. I think they teach you that in orgs or something, unless you are antisocial.
5. The most important virtue here is something which most people need to work out on seriously. PATIENCE. Yes, these policemen can be very brutal at times, but you need to keep your cool. You need to gather yourself every time they humiliate you or something. It didn't go this worse last night thank God. But if it does in your case, just shut your mouth off. The last thing you need is an assault or harassment case against an officer. So be cool.

We got off the checkpoint with not a single paper in our hands. Whether it's pure luck or Sinta's undeniable charisma, the list was all very effective! But next time though, everyone could probably focus more on the driving rather than other stuffs (like debating in our case). Avoidance is better than dealing with checkpoints you know. Better yet, forget my list and get all your papers done people, for God's sake! LOL